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Smart Parenting Guide: Raising Happy and
Responsible Children in the 21st Century
Table of Contents
Introduction
“Mommy, how come these little ones get away
with things many didn’t when they were that age?” is the usual
complaint of the eldest children. They were referring – not to
their first brother, who was just a few years younger -- but to
the next “batch” of siblings – a boy or a girl who came about
ten years later. More
Chapter 1: Children In The 21st Century
Television today is still a “baby sitter”
both for adults and preschoolers. When people are bored or
simply want to rest, they watch TV. Some are not really
interested to watch at all. They need the TV to put them to
sleep. As soon as you turn it off, they wake up.
More
Chapter 2: Effective Parenting
What kind of parent are you – an encourager
or an intimidator? The encourager stresses working towards a
certain goal. The intimidator stresses winning. For this kind of
parent, “It’s the results that count… not the effort, not the
intentions.”
And what results! Useless deaths. You have heard about
graduating college students resorting to suicide for not
graduating with honors in a family of medalists or in another
case, for failing to graduate at all. Those who choose to live
become obsessive about reaching the top, even at the expense of
others. Some are immobilized – afraid to try unless success is
guaranteed.
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Chapter 3: Pushing For Gold - The Parent
Trap
Parents naturally want their children to be
the best, whether in academics or extra-curricular activities –
or both! Young kids especially find happiness in pleasing their
parents, and would do almost anything to garner their approval –
from doing simple chores and creating pretty artwork, to
accomplishing more ambitious feats like winning in sports or
beauty pageants. But how far can we push our little ones without
breaking their spirit or setting them up for disappointment?
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Chapter 4: Value Formation And Behavior
What can parents do now to prepare their
kids in the right direction towards thinking for themselves and
making good (or better) choices? Experience tells us that
prudence can be realistically achieved not at seven (age of
reason) but by the age of eighteen.
Spanish educator David Isaacs, PhD suggests that parents lay the
foundation for prudence by instilling four good habits during
the first seven years of life. Namely: obedience, sincerity,
order, and justice. He believes that these four habits are
needed in the progressive development of other good habits
within the next three phases: charity and fortitude (courage) in
elementary level (8 to 12), faith and temperance (self-control)
in adolescence (13-15), and hope and prudence (sound judgment)
in young adulthood (16-18). Furthermore, those who have these
virtues will naturally find happiness and human maturity, he
concludes.
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Chapter 5: The Importance Of Play
For children, play is naturally enjoyable.
And since it is their active engagement in things that interest
them, play should be child-led, or at least child-inspired, for
it to remain relevant and meaningful to them. Children at play
are happily lost in themselves; they are in their own realm of
wonder, exploration, and adventure, pulling parents in at times
with a frequent “Let’s play, mom!” as an open invitation into
that world.
As early as infancy, children immerse themselves in play
activities with the purpose of making sense of the world around
them. Play gives children the opportunity to learn and
experience things themselves, which is vital for their
development. Although peek-a-boo games seem pointless to adults,
tots are awed by the surprise that awaits them as they see the
suddenly emerging faces of people they love.
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Chapter 6: Promoting Gender Sensitivity
- The Magic Of Hugging
In a November 2005 issue of the “The
Straits Times”, a leading Singapore daily broadsheet, there is a
report on Singaporean scientists’ ongoing efforts to find a way
to transmit ‘cyber hugs.’ “The team is thinking of a wireless
pajama suit for children,” says research director Adrian Cheok,
“which would use the Internet to adjust pressure and temperature
to simulate the feeling of being hugged. Parents in a similar
suit could be ‘hugged back’ by their children.”
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The Challenge Of Parenting
Whoever said parenting was easy must be
daft or has not experienced being a parent at all. Child rearing
is a continuous process and does not stop even after the child
decides to move out of the house when he or she turns eighteen.
Even with years, centuries, and millennia worth of experience,
nobody can still determine what parenting methods work and what
do not. Parenting is unique to every setup and to every child
and remains as unfathomable as ever. With this nature, the best
we can do is to prepare ourselves for a bumpy ride and cross our
fingers that we rear people who will be significant contributors
to society.
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