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Gentle Measures in the Management and
Training of the Young by Jacob Abbott
CHAPTER I. THE THREE MODES OF MANAGEMENT.
Page 1 of
3 It is not impossible that in the minds of some persons the idea
of
employing gentle measures in the management and training of
children may
seem to imply the abandonment of the principle of authority, as
the
basis of the parental government, and the substitution of some
weak and
inefficient system of artifice and manoeuvring in its place. To
suppose
that the object of this work is to aid in effecting such a
substitution as
that, is entirely to mistake its nature and design. The only
government
of the parent over the child that is worthy of the name is one
of
authority--complete, absolute, unquestioned authority. The
object of this
work is, accordingly, not to show how the gentle methods which
will be
brought to view can be employed as a substitute for such
authority, but how
they can be made to aid in establishing and maintaining it.
(Continued after the box containing related
articles/publications and products.)
Three Methods.
There are three different modes of management customarily
employed
by parents as means of inducing their children to comply with
their
requirements. They are,
1. Government by Manoeuvring and Artifice.
2. By Reason and Affection.
3. By Authority.
Manoeuvring and Artifice.
1. Many mothers manage their children by means of tricks and
contrivances,
more or less adroit, designed to avoid direct issues with them,
and to
beguile them, as it were, into compliance with their wishes. As,
for
example, where a mother, recovering from sickness, is going out
to take
the air with her husband for the first time, and--as she is
still
feeble--wishes for a very quiet drive, and so concludes not to
take little
Mary with her, as she usually does on such occasions; but
knowing that if
Mary sees the chaise at the door, and discovers that her father
and mother
are going in it, she will be very eager to go too, she adopts a
system of
manoeuvres to conceal her design. She brings down her bonnet and
shawl by
stealth, and before the chaise comes to the door she sends Mary
out into
the garden with her sister, under pretense of showing her a
bird's nest
which is not there, trusting to her sister's skill in diverting
the child's
mind, and amusing her with something else in the garden, until
the chaise
has gone. And if, either from hearing the sound of the wheels,
or from
any other cause, Mary's suspicions are awakened--and children
habitually
managed on these principles soon learn to be extremely
distrustful and
suspicious--and she insists on going into the house, and thus
discovers the
stratagem, then, perhaps, her mother tells her that they are
only going to
the doctor's, and that if Mary goes with them, the doctor will
give her
some dreadful medicine, and compel her to take it, thinking thus
to deter
her from insisting on going with them to ride.
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